If I could draw Super Mum (SM) she would have 10 arms, eyes in the front, side and back of her head, beautiful long hair, the most confident smile you have ever seen and a long sparkling cape... ironed out without any creases of course!😊 Her legs run as fast as speedy gonzales, she keeps her cool at all times and her days are so oragnised she actually has time to giver herself a pedicure whilst her children are doing homework... oh yes and her children do their homework without all the threats and coaxing that goes with it 😉. WHERE IS THIS SUPER MAMMA AT? Truth be told, every mum I know deserves this title because whatever they do they do it with their child’s and family’s best intentions in mind. However, we have learnt to become major critics of ourselves and society doesn’t help. There is always this ideal we aim to reach no matter how well we are doing in life. The term SUPER MAMA was created.. how much more competitive could it get?
It’s fun to imagine a SM being like the cartoon character I described above. But in reality what is a SM? What are her qualities? To get a broader understanding of what the public thinks about this term I turned to social media and asked my friends to help me out with this one. I asked them to define ‘Super Mum’ and these were their answers.
A Super Mum....
Doesn’t let the opinions of others influence her behaviour and choices
Sees to her children’s needs without forgetting who she is and what her needs are
Being present, supportive, understanding and most of all loving
Manages to build a good relationship with her kids and be their safe place and comfort
Always puts her family first and manages to keep up with everything
Provides a social life for her kids and being present for them
Is a very creative person
Dedicates her time and energy to her children without expecting anything in return
Keeps her children happy and gives them all the necessary things
Manages to give the best life to her family just the way she can
One who can keep her S**t together
One with lots of patience and ability to keep her cool in the worst situations
Being able to spend enough time with her children not withstanding that she works
Puts her family first above everything
Gives her kids her best self, takes decisions which are right for the family in her current situation with the information and resources available to her at the time
Manages to juggle family, work and chores with lack of sleep and manages to stay alive
A lot of the definitions where mentioned over and over again (the most mentioned was a mother who manages to juggle all aspects in her life). No one mentioned any super powers, no extra limbs or eyes where involved and yet having all these qualities is not easy. Being a mum/parent is no easy feat. Doing the above is already hard.. Try doing it without adequate sleep, living on coffee, dealing with tantrums all day long. I get you.. I go through it.. You are not alone. Sometimes we nail it.. We manage to keep our frustration at bay, we had the perfect bedtime routine, our kids ate all their veggies. Other days we high-five each other because we ended the day still alive. We struggled and cried and said we are the worst parents ever.. Our children might have actually told us that! But in my opinion THAT is when we are the real Super Mums. We manage to deal with all that and go through yet another day. You can learn and train yourself to get all the qualities mentioned above but it takes someone super to go through a hard day, feel like the worst mum ever and yet does not give up!
On positive note, I created a poll where I asked mothers if they honestly thought they were a ‘Super Mum’ or not. Results showed that 75% of the people thought they were. These replies gave me such positive vibes. It is such a nice feeling seeing so many people realise that what they are doing is good. Some replied personally with statements like ‘maybe’ or ‘I try’ or ‘I’m a normal mum’ whilst a small proportion replied with ‘no’ which made me quite sad to see how they do not realise just how amazing they are. Some where the mummies I am close to and admire so much!
Now for the fun part 😊 For the next part of my ‘research’ I asked the children whether they thought their mother was a ‘Super Mum’ or not. The results I received where an expected 100% yes and the reasons given melted my heart and I am sure they will melt yours too.
“She drives us everywhere”
“She will always try her best to make me happy and even if she fails she will never stop”
“She shoos bees away and they don’t sting me”
"She plays with me"
“She loves me every day”
“Whenever I am hurt or sad she always makes me feel better”
“If I am going to fall she saves me and she helps me whenever I don’t know something”
" She plans fun activities"
“She loves me”
“She is clever”
“She can cook everything”
“She changes my baby brother’s nappy”
“She works very hard”
“She can find anything”
“She knows everything”
“ She can see from everywhere”
So sweet don't you think? :) I don’t know if you are seeing what I have come to realise. We often place a lot of pressure on ourselves to be more than we are in order to be the best we can be for our children. Whether it’s being highly organised, super patient or being crazy creative. Some of these traits might come naturally to some people and we see them as ‘Super Mums’ in our eyes and we aspire to be like them, not for ourselves but for our children. (Speaking of which, I wish to thank all the wonderful mums who have had such a positive effect on me and I have learnt so much from.. especially my very own mother). We always strive to be better not only for ourselves but mostly for our children. We want to be the best we can be for them. Little do we know that in their little eyes we already are Super. We are their heroes, we are their world, we are enough... just the way we are. Society does not decide who and what is a SM and neither do we. We are our child’s parent and so it is them who decides. There was a time where I believed Super Mum was a fictional character. Today I understand that she exists and she is here … in each and every one of us. Super Mamas, our children feel our power, they know we love them and they are so very proud of us each and every day xxx
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